WOUNDED HEARTS

by Laney



- Gallery of mirrors, Versailles’ Castle ; 10:30 a.m

	A figure hid itself fastly behind a large column and sighed 
	with relief when a group of courtesans passed near the column, 
	without noticing its presence.
	She has hidden from the glances of the Court for a few moment, 
	too upset to keep on living as if nothing important was 
	happening. I mustn’t fall ? she thought. ? Oh Fersen ! If only 
	you knew how deep you make me suffer·loving you is the most 
	delightful thing that had happened to me, however I know 
	it won’t be possible for a long time·I can’t love you.”

	The young woman repressed a sob and shortened herself a bit more 
	in her dark corner. ? Since our meeting at the Opera Ball, my life 
	has changed. God only knows all the joy that floods my heart, 
	each day, when I see you. But I don’t have the right to love you. 
	I was banned to do a lot of things since my childhood, above all 
	making the most of it, but not being entitled to love you is the 
	cruellest thing. I always thought that keeping on following my 
	role with the greatest dignity would give me the opportunity to 
	flee the least flutter of love. Alas·I was far away to suspect 
	that you were preparing yourself to come in my life
	Oh Fersen, my friend, my love, I beg you, forgive me. Forgive my 
	attitude, just think I was trying to create an imaginary youth
	Forgive my behaviour unworthy from a Queen·?


- Royal Stables ; 10:30 a.m

 	Shall we wait for Colonel de Jarjayes ?
   - 	It’s useless, he told me we could begin without him. ?

	The young man checked one more time that the saddle was 
properly fixed on the mount. Then his thoughts turned toward Oscar·
she didn’t seem to be fit, these times

	Oh my God, I would give anything to help her·tell her that 
she can count on me in all circumstances. But she doesn’t want me·
whereas I only live for the moments we are together since the first 
day we met.

	I knew she was woman. What fools had let them be mistaken ? 
Indeed her attitude is really masculine, but her grace and her 
beauty erased the last doubts that were in  me. Lord, she is so 
gorgeous·there is no night where I don’t stay awake, haunted by 
her resplendent  image·if only I could hold her even a moment in 
my arms·printing my lips on her soft skin, loving her until the end 
of the night·loving her until the end of my days

	I know all that is a chimera. She will never give up her 
masculinity. It’s perhaps better this way·I will never be jealous”

   	Monsieur de Girodel, are you ready ? ?

	The young man started when he heard his name. Then, sighing, 
he came out of the stabble.


- On a road leading to Versailles ; 10:30 a.m

	The rider wanted his horse to go faster. He had to arrive 
in the Palace in the briefest times allowed. There were so many 
things to look after ! He didn’t know if he would have the courage 
to face everything.

	God, life was so unfair

	My friend, I hope I won’t hurt you·I think I know what 
you feel for me, according to the confession you made to me, and 
even you know that my heart is pure·I thank God for knowing you. 
I never dared imagine such a relationship with a so beautiful and 
intelligent woman like you.
	
	But·what I have to confess you breaks my heart, and I dread 
that it plunges you in an abyss of pain. Why is life made this 
way? I’m not free anyway, and you aren’t either. We will never 
have a lasting relationship, you know it so well. It’s time for 
you to admit it, just the way I admitted it myself
Oh my friend, my love, I have to come back to Sweden and get married, 
in order to please my father. But it won’t change anything to what 
I feel. Marie-Antoinette, I love you forever. ?


- Jarjayes’ Castle ; 10:30 a.m
   
 	You wanted me to come, Monsieur ?
   - 	Yes, Granny. I would like not to be bothered for all the 
morning. ?

	The old governess raised her eyebrows with surprise, but 
the General didn’t add a word. He had never wanted to be alone 
like he wanted it at this moment.

	He came close to the smiling portrait of a blonde woman, 
hung on the wall. “What a madness I have done·appropriate myself 
her life·I gave her no happiness. I made her bear the 
responsibility of not giving me a son”

	He thought suddenly to his youngest daughter.

	Oscar, I hope you will forgive me someday·I always wanted the 
best for you. But I know now that I was wrong. Oh my dear, 
give up this uniform in which I imprisoned you, and learn at last 
how to live. I know you have a burning heart which is yearning 
to know life· There would be so many gentlemen ready to marry you.
Yes ; we will get you married in the next few months. Perhaps 
I will be able next to calm down my mind, too guilty of having 
made you a man. ?


- Arras Road ; 10:30 a.m

	A rider was going slowly. He had left Versailles and Paris 
for a few moment to change his ideas. The day was sunny, everything 
was colourful in all that he was seeing, but his heart still stayed 
filled with darkness.

	All that you told me fills me with joy and fright at the 
same time·I’m glad he goes away at last and lets you quiet, but in 
the same time I’m afraid that you fall in sorrow after his departure

	If you only knew·if you only knew, Oscar, all that I endured 
since the day your amazed eyes met Axel von Fersen·My heart is 
bleeding to know you’re unhappy. You don’t say anything but I know 
you can’t stand this situation.

It’s not only a friend who suffers because of and for you, no. 
Only God knows that I would like to be much more than your best 
friend, your eternal brother. But I fear this feelings which are 
burning me aren’t reciprocal.

No matter what. I will always be there for you, I will be your 
shadow in complete light, your lantern in darkness, your friend 
forever.

The most important thing·is that I’m near you, Oscar
Oh my friend, my love, if you only knew how much I love you·?

	
- Forest near Arras ; 10:30 a.m

	A rider was giving water to his stallion near the river. 
He appreciated the quietness around, but nothing couldn’t prevent 
the torments from taking place in his muddled mind.

	" This living of lies will kill me·I would give anything 
to put off this mask which is gnawing my skin·If only·if only 
I was an other·I wouldn’t have met him

	But I can’t feel hate for him. We are similar : our life 
doesn’t belong to us. Why rebelling ?

	His friendship was very important for me. Now that his 
departure is close, I don’t feel anything anymore ; there is like 
a great emptiness inside me. I hope peace and happiness 
will knock on his cold door.

	No friendship will take the place of the one I have since 
my childhood. This one is solid. Nothing can destroy it·but 
something could even take its place·maybe a strongest feeling, 
more passionate, crushing me.

	A feeling I don’t know, but its presence is buried in my 
heart since my glance met his, a long time ago. I’m sure about it.

	But I don’t have any control on my life. Someday someone 
decided for me.

	This doesn’t bother me anymore. I have never been afraid of 
my future.

	I simply believe that I’m afraid of learning how to love. 
The great Love, I didn’t trust in it. But since the day 
Fersen told me he would leave, I realized the pain of the one  
that I always loved without knowing it.

	Too late·or too early·my heart is stifled, my hands are fastened, 
and my lips closed for a time I don’t know.

	I can only tell you that by dream for the moment·Listen to 
the songs of the wind, maybe you’ll hear the whisper of my voice·
welcome the light breeze on your face, so you’ll be able to feel 
the imaginary caress of my lips on your skin. Oh Andr·my friend, 
I think I love you”


THE END